Venting some steam!

I have never been a people’s person and I have never been good at faking goodness and friendliness. When I am friends with someone, I am a good friend with all genuineness and when I withdraw, I do it completely. Quite a few friendships have gone kaput in the past few years. Some fizzled out naturally, some because they were forged for convenience and out of need and others because the wavelengths stopped matching somewhere along the way. Every time I have seen a relationship lose steam, I have wondered whether ego, expectations and lack of communication were its undoing. I have probed myself, my actions, my thoughts and why I felt in a certain manner. I am not without fault. I cannot be because sometimes I fail to see where I went wrong. But in many cases I have seen the other person turn into something I never thought they could be. Worst is when you know them a bit more than they think you know them and you can see them through the faked niceties, hollow words and the strained conversation. They conveniently forget what they did wrong or rather cannot realise it because they do not think they did anything wrong. Worst is when they feed lies about you to other people and you can see some people withdraw without any reason. And you can understand it all because you have been there, you have heard about someone too – but then you were too deep into the throes of a friendship to not believe it.