Freefall

My feet felt like jelly. The heart’s pounding seemed to be coming through a stethoscope. As I tethered on the edge, holding on to life, I felt myself being pushed forward into the endless abyss. Time stood still for a moment. The shock of being pushed out of an aircraft had numbed me. And then I screamed.

It all started a day ago when I arrived in Queenstown. Situated on Lake Wakatipu in the South Island of New Zealand, the town is essentially a haven for lovers of adventure sports. Of all its daredevil sports, Queenstown is best known for skydiving. After meeting almost a dozen people who were heading for a date with the skies, I could not resist the temptation to sign up too. I was to jump from a small aircraft the next day along with two other brave hearts.

Before the jump, we were given some vital instructions, jumpsuits, helmets, goggles and gloves. The drill was to be simple. The instructors who would be accompanying each one of us would help us jump out lest we had second thoughts. After a freefall of 45 seconds, they would open the parachutes and after five minutes we would be back on Earth.

As the aircraft climbed to an altitude of 12,000 foot, I silently watched my co-jumpers sucked out into the white emptiness. Soon it was my turn to take the plunge. My hands had turned cold inside the gloves. I inched towards the door but I was not supposed to charge forward like a bull and get over with it. I had to balance myself on the edge of the aircraft’s door and then jump. The instructor was getting restless at my chosen moment for reverie but I could not move. It was then that he pushed me.



When I had screamed my lungs out for what seemed like an eternity, I stared in awe at the scene below. The lake below was a blazing blue amidst brown hills. The stillness was sense-defying and I felt suspended in a timeless void. If silence could be defined, then that is how it would be. I was at peace. As the freefall was cut short by the opening of the parachute, I came back to reality. It was soon time to be back on Earth. As I sat down to pull myself together, I knew that I would be back someday.

Panting over paintings

I am in seventh heaven! Two paintings up! After listening to P’s grumbling for months over neglecting the painting he gifted me and feeling devastated over my own pick looking drab in frame, the Eureka idea hit me like lightning. P was immediately put to work and the genius he is, my masterpieces were up and hanging in minutes. Needless to say, they look fabulous together!

And every time I have one more frame up, I am reminded of the 14-year-old who left no corner of her room bare. There were drawings all over. A huge hand-made poster of Daisy Duck adorned the door that opened into the living room. My dad did a double-take every time he entered my room and I had to grudgingly take off a few of my lovelies.

Some day when I have a daughter, I want her to pick a pen and scribble like there is no tomorrow (a son will be no less welcome to do the honours). I know I will regret that! But I want her to get over her inhibitions and know that every discovery begins with few failures. Decorating one’s home comes naturally to some people but for most it is a tedious and scary process. I belong in the latter category.

I am taking baby steps towards putting together a home that has a soul and a look. Material goals are often more elusive than the spiritual ones. But I will be there someday. Till then back to drooling over my new loves.

Work

Apart from the back breaking hours I spend bent over proofs, the new job has been fun. It is like giving up the macro view for the micro; abandoning binoculars for a microscope; and giving up dreams of flying to scour the earth. I am still rusty with my commas and hyphens and ignorant of grammatical rules but I am learning to slow down and hunt for the errant quotation marks and the hideous z.

And as I frown at my computer screen all day long, the day turns into night and ships return to the dock after a hard day’s work. From a blazing blue the world outside turns into a cascade of black and from the window glass pane I look back at myself.

Burden

A feeder ship laden with sand stands alone in the middle of the harbour off Shau Kei Wan.

Belonging

I am religious, if I can be considered one, more religious than I ever was because I feel lost in a sea of faces that have nothing in common with me.

Sign

Playing dumb charades the other day, I told a friend that if it is an old movie, I will touch my hair.